As a twenty-something, I can’t exactly say that I’ve got life figured out just yet. But one of my biggest discoveries in the past few years is how much positivity can really do for you. This involves not only your mindset, but also your environment and the people in your life.
Years ago, you could call me a pessimist. The glass was always half-empty, solely because I felt that this mindset wouldn’t leave me disappointed when anything bad happened. As I entered college, I began to change. I felt that I had a really great life and was very fortunate for all the things that I had been given. I spent a lot of time volunteering in in high-poverty areas, and realized how important all of the little things are in our lives, and how most people don’t realize that what we may think are necessities for us, are luxuries for others.
Despite this, I still had my moments. I completed my degree in three years while working to pay off the expenses, so I was often bogged down, stressed out, and struggling to keep my grades up while I kept myself overbooked. There were times where I ended up owing more to the school than I thought, I couldn’t finish big assignments, and I got back a lot of bad grades.
In hindsight, my worries seemed exaggerated, but at the time, that was my life. I often called my parents while on my way somewhere to talk about it, and they said a couple things. The first, they would ask if I tried my hardest. If I said yes, they said that was all that mattered. I could have done better, but that would have meant less time at work or being unable to commit to organizations I had bigger roles in. So, given those circumstances, that really was the best I could do with those obligations.
The other thing they reminded me of, was to remember all of the things you are grateful for. My parents didn’t feel that I was ungrateful for my education at all, but they were suggesting to practice it on the regular. In fact, we often reminded each other to do this when any of us were feeling a bit down. Today, this is one of my best habits.
I believe that I am a much happier person today, and I see a lot of benefits from my positive thinking. I feel encouraged to keep moving when I’m trying to hit a tough goal. Instead of dwelling on my mistakes in the past, I instead learn from them. And overall, I feel that I have more energy. But optimism has many more benefits than you think, which is more reason for you to embrace positivity and stop thinking so negatively about the yourself and the world around you.
Although my path to optimistic thinking took me several years, it doesn’t have to be the same for you. Here’s how you can embrace positivity, and crush negative thoughts:
Practice gratitude.
This is my greatest tip for you. Start writing something down every day. Tell your friends how much you appreciate them. Call your grandparents. Give back to your family. Write down your most cherished memories, and all of the experiences you’ve been able to have, whether they occurred due to your hard work or someone else’s. You may be grateful for big things, like the vacation you took with your family or your ability to go to college, are not as common for many people to experience. You should also be sure to be grateful for the little things, too. Appreciation of all aspects in life, big or small, can make you a much happier person.
Stop comparing.
One of the biggest issues with social media is the amount of comparing that we do. There are so many people out there, posting their highlight reel. Traveling the world, going to concerts, having many people in their life, and lots of money to spend. It’s so easy for so many people to feel down about themselves when being constantly connected to social media. Before too long it’s a comparison of their worst to someone else’s best.
I mentioned this a bit earlier, but volunteering was a big eye-opener for me. I realized that there are so many things that we take for granted. One of them was clean windows. Some students in my group were responsible for cleaning the windows in the elementary school cafeteria, and when the kids came back, they were so happy they cried. Why would six-year-olds notice clean windows? Because many of the homes in the area had boarded-up windows; crime was high and glass was shattered all the time, and nobody could afford to keep replacing the glass like that. Their houses were dark.
That was the first time I realized how important something as simple as a window was, and I think about that place a lot. Those years volunteering changed me in a lot of ways, but it mostly gave me perspective on what I have. When I see people living lavish lives on social media, I no longer have self-directed negative feelings. I think to myself, “You know, that person gets to experience a lot of really neat things in life. But you know what? So do I. I’ve got a lot to be happy about.”
Before my blog, I really didn’t have much of a presence on social media because I was afraid of this problem. I think it’s so easy to fall into this trap. After my school’s winter break, a lot of people commented on my Snapchat stories. They said that my life looked so exciting and adventurous! But some, you could tell, sounded like they felt they should have done more over their break. The reality? I didn’t leave my house most of the time.
So next time you’re browsing, don’t compare! And always remember all of the little things that make your life so much easier.
Turn bad situations into good ones.
When something takes a turn for the worse, or something mildly inconvenient happens, it’s easy to be frustrated. You want or expect things to go one way, but then they just don’t. Which is a completely understandable reaction! However, it can be even better to think about things differently. Say you’re about to go on a plane to a vacation destination and suddenly your plane is delayed three hours. It’s certainly not fun to have to sit in a crowded waiting room for three hours, but the fact that you’re able to go on a vacation to begin with is really something. You’re in a place where you can afford it, take off work, and enjoy the time off. It certainly won’t help make the depart faster, but it will make you feel a little better!
Surround yourself with good people.
This isn’t always the easiest thing. You can’t always pick who you’re around (like at work, for example), but when you can, it’s important to keep out the people who bring you down. The people you associate with have a profound effect on you as a person, and being around the right people can really help you. On the flipside, constantly negative people have a way of spreading their negativity around – and you will end up feeling it too. And if you have a toxic relationship with somebody, this can really drain you.
Over the last few years I’ve met some really wonderful people who I feel will be lifetime friends. I realized in that time how happy these people make me feel and how amazing it was to have people love and care for you so much. It makes you so happy that you would drop everything for them always, because you want them to be happy too. I’ve also met people who made me feel the complete opposite, the kind of people others called “toxic.” The kind of people that constantly belittle you, guilt you, and drain you.
It’s never easy to remove people from your life, and, if you’re like me, you avoid conflict at all costs. But if you’re in this situation, consider spending less time with these people, or only see them when necessary. It’s easier to embrace positivity when don’t have that kind of influence on you. Your environment has a great impact on who you are – so make it the best that you can!
I hope these tips will help you erase much of the negative thoughts that you have and embrace a more optomistic mindset. How do you stay positive? Let me know below.
Sincerely,
Julie Anna
